• j.mee

Pity party for one...

A pity party cupcake.

Pity parties are always parties of one.

I know what you're thinking - that's not true. I commiserate with my friends all the time! And yes, the saying goes 'misery loves company'. However,

Misery is not a pity party for two. It's just two individual parties happening right next door to each other at exactly the same time.

When we're pitying ourselves, we're really only looking at our personal circumstances from the most negative viewpoint imaginable (like standing behind a really tall guy at a concert).

I recently had a phone call with an old friend where I complained... if you wanna know what it's like to write a book and have nobody care, come talk to me... and she sighed... I just wish I had some things start to go good in my life... And we thoroughly enjoyed our simultaneous pity parties. Ain't nothin' wrong with that. But both of us knew the other person was full of crap.

I was whining because when my book came out, another author I know pretty well also released her book and she had three release parties thrown for her and hundreds of pictures on the internet and lots of mutual friends who posted pictures happily smiling with their new novel - hers. Oh... and she was invited to do a segment on The Social. The Social! A lifestyle tv show. I don't watch The Social, but that seems pretty darn cool. Compared to her release, mine felt... underwhelming. (She is a really talented writer and I wish her the best. Check out her book, Ayesha at Last here.)

Still, when I complained, the first thing my friend said back to me was, "well... I don't think that nobody cares" in that tone that friends get sometimes that basically says, "Oh, please." And she was right. This book release, I had an awesome group of book bloggers who posted interesting and beautiful images of my book, and of course the people that love me are supportive and really do care.

On the other hand, my friend was bummed about the state of her life because she doesn't currently have a career she's excited about and recently she broke up with someone she thought she could see a future with, which are both tough things, but, the second she said it out loud, I couldn't help but counter with a little "oh, please" tone myself. After all, she is healthy woman, living comfortably enough financially to be able to afford things like her own apartment and stand-up paddleboard lessons, she has an adorable puppy, and there are plenty of supportive people who love her and care about her as well. There are lots of things in her life already going quite well.

It's not all bad.

It just sometimes feels like it is.

So, when you're about to throw yourself a little pity party, maybe run your tale of woe by a close family member or friend. If they don't immediately come back with that 'oh please' tone as well, then party on!

Just don't forget, it's a party of one!

#ohplease #pityparty #perception

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